There is a subtle message contained within this ad, a message so subtle that you might miss it. Read very carefully and tell me this - what is she looking for?

Looking for Boyfriend - 34

I’m a beautiful woman originally from Russia and I’m looking for a boyfriend. I have my green card so what I am looking for is really a boyfriend. I’m economically independent so what I am looking for is really a boyfriend. I have been told I am very beautiful, I’m 5′7″ tall, slim and athletic, I’ve got blue eyes, dark hair, white skin. I talk different languages, I have told I’m determined and funny. What I am looking for is a tall man, not too young and not too old, physical attractive, fit and economically independent. I wanna meet somebody local, self-confident but affectionate, funny sweet. If you wanna receive an answer, pls include in your answer: your age, location, high and a recent pic. And please don’t write to ask me if I am for real.

If only she were real.

I like. But then I’ve always had a soft spot for ads that are deliberately self-contradictory.

If your Brain has not become a Vestigial Organ…

New Shirt: 35$
Lunch at a pseudo fancy restraunt: 40$
Commute: 6$
Absorbing conversation over lunch: Priceless.

There are some things money can buy, for everything else there is a 24, 6′1, 144Lbs, computer phobic software engineer, movie buff, slow driver, monday morning hater, grocery & Laundry procastenator, punctually late, dedicatedly confused, eternally happy Male.

A Request: busy people, workoholics, people with endless prior commitments and air tight schedules, people suffering from ‘email once and then dissapear into thin air’ syndrome, please refrain from sending a reply.

This is an approach to online dating that I hadn’t thought of before. It makes me think of the dilemma that arises when trying to find a nice piece of art to hang above your living room sofa. Do you get the piece of art first or the sofa?

Wanted: One Male Bed-Filler

I’m just another busy person always on the go. I recently moved to a new place and bought a fantastic bed that I love. While so caught up in my day to day life, I have not had time to develop a romantic relationship lately. But when I come home at the end of the day and get in bed, it feels very empty.

I have thus decided to take applications for a bed-filler.

This is NOT a sex thing. If anything, it might be more appropriate to post this in the housewares section… but anyways.

Me:
-25 years old, straight single female
-5’8”, blond, hazel eyes, thick/curvy
-often restless/occupied when I get in bed; in need of soothing, relaxation

My bed:
-1 full sized bed, located in nice room in nice basement suite
-clean sheets
-2 new pillows for sleeping – none of those annoying throw pillows
-1 blue fleece blanket decorated with reindeer (don’t ask)
-room temperature kept cool as to facilitate snuggling (see below)

I require:
-one straight, single man
-between the ages of 25 and 30 years old
-minimum 6 feet tall, 6’2” is better, 6’4” is most desireable and also the maximum height sought
-must practice good hygiene, smell pleasant and regularly manscape if his body hair is excessive in volume
-piercings and tattoos to be considered on individual basis
-must enthusiastically cuddle, snuggle and spoon me
-must NOT scratch himself excessively in the morning and NEVER Dutch-oven me
-must limit alcohol intake to 2 beers on any night he is acting as bed-filler
-must seek medical consul if he consistently snores when not drunk, sick
-should occasionally play with my hair

What the successful applicant receives:
-the satisfaction of helping me sleep better
-sleeping with a girl who’s hair always smells nice
-free dream interpretation in the morning (just a weird gift I have)

Applicants who can demonstrate ESP skills, thus knowing which nights and at what times I need my bed-filler without my explicit request, will be given priority in the short listing phase. Amusing and/or insightful pillow talk may be rewarded with kisses or tea (to be decided at the discretion of the bed-filler).

Thanks and good luck!

An excellent picture may just help this guy get what he’s looking for.

Show me the ropes! - 26

Hey! What do you say to a home-cooked meal, some good conversation and some ropes or cuffs? I’m a really sweet guy who happens to have a desire for being tied up… 5 foot 10, blue eyes and a sunny disposition = me! How about you - what’s your story?

(By the way, this doesn’t necessarily mean sex, at least not in the immediate future!)

Hello my name is Sefton. I have two legs that I sometimes like to use, but at other times I like to sit down and rest. Maybe with a book in my hand, maybe with a remote control. If this sounds interesting, drop me a line. PS: looking for friends first.

A big problem for women (unlike men) isn’t getting replies. It’s getting quality replies. But surely the chances of getting a quality reply increase hugely when there’s a quality ad to reply to in the first place. So please, don’t lose hope. Instead, try telling us something tangible about yourself. It doesn’t have to be fascinating and witty. The main idea is to give those of us who haven’t met you a sense of who you are.

losing hope - 22

so this is my second and last time posting a message. the last time i posted one i got back all sorts of different kinds of reponses…. so for the second time i am not looking for just some random hook ups so if thats what you’re interested in you might as well just stop reading. As of right now i am not sure about what exactly i am looking for. i recently got out of a three year long relationship. im basically either looking for friends at first and if we click then a long term relationship.

I love kids, i have none of my own. I work at a daycare. umm lets see… i try to make the most out of every situation and have fun in whatever i am doing. I want someone to is trust worthy, honest, respectful, great sense of humor, likes to go out and just stay home from time to time.

Have you seen the car ad, the one that begins “you probably won’t want to buy this car, we’ve been trying to sell it at rock bottom prices for a while now, but we thought we’d give it one last shot. It’s quite nice if you like that sort of thing.” No? That’s because car ads aren’t like that. If they were the car industry would be extinct-o. And personal ads shouldn’t be like that either, otherwise we’d all be single-o.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not advocating that in your ad you resort to horrible metaphors and talk about how good you are behind the wheel, that you like life in the fast lane, that you handle well for your age, or that you like nothing better than to drive across dangerously rocky terrain with a small delicate child strapped securely yet sensitively to a baby seat in the back. Heaven forbid.

No, I’m just saying don’t be ashamed of who you are. You want a girl who can talk Bishop’s Opening and King’s Gambit between the sheets? That’s great. But it is an unusual person that you are looking for and so the onus falls on you to emphasize just how interesting and attractive this can be, rather than to baldly state what you are looking for, or worse, post your ad as a despondent, last ditch attempt to find true chess.

*******Friend***Chess*****ActivitIies ***Outdoors***** - 26

This will be last time i post ad for a long time since nobody responds…. I’m looking for somebody to play chess with…go running…camping..fishing.. exploring… looking for friend at first.. I am mature personality with sarcasm but won’t put u down…I am respectful and always honest (expect that in return) im 5′10 199 but run mile in 6.30.. u qualify as long as your in decent shape and share same interests with me ….if u don’t play chess no biggy as long as u want to learn it…its a great mind game ..and very competitive game one of very few games that don’t involve luck ….if u have any questions please ask rather than skip over me, thanks PS Pic for Pic ((please no spam))

The beautiful thing about online dating is that there are so many different kinds of people coming together and clicking through the same web pages. It’s the kind of eclectic collection of people that rarely, if ever, gets together in one room in the ‘real’ world. Use it to your advantage.

An idea that has been around in one form or another for centuries, but has recently found a wider audience with movies such as What The Bleep Do We Know? and The Secret (though I have to say, all that whispering in The Secret made me shudder so much I couldn’t finish it) is the idea that we all attract certain events, circumstances, and people into our lives. I’m not sure how comfortable I am applying this philosophy to every single aspect of life, but I do like to think of dating sites as small-scale universes that perfectly demonstrate this principle at work.

When you write an ad you are giving yourself the fairly unique opportunity to attract into your life someone you would not otherwise meet. It’s a delicate opportunity, I think, and one that deserves not just well-written sentences, but an ad that makes a positive overall impression. From this point of view I can’t say that I’m too hopeful for the woman whose post is below. It just doesn’t seem like she’s giving herself a good chance to find what she is looking for. Keep an eye out for Repost #3.

Repost #2 This shouldn’t have to be so difficult!!!!! - 49

Ok I have reposted this ad twice already and the second time I really asked that you read it well before responding to it.
I am asking again that before you respond to this ad, please read it all the way to the end. It will save a lot of time for both of us. If I do not sound like exactly the kind of woman you are looking for, then move on to the next ad. I am not trying to be mean, but I am asking you to be considerate enough to not waste my time or yours chasing after a fantasy or trying to create one for me. I know what I want and I want you to know what you want. Is that too much to ask for?

OK Here is my posting as it was the second time.

This is harder than I had originally thought it would be…
I am going to try again though, because I know there are good guys out there. But please, for both of our sakes, read my post through really well before responding. You will save both of us a lot of time and aggravation. And you need to know that I am exactly the person I claim to be in this post, so if this is not what you are truly looking for, save the time and energy for writing to someone who offers what you really need. Thank you for your cooperation and understanding!!

OK, here we go again, another time. Below is my original post.

OK…why is it so hard to find a nice, SINGLE, guy who really wants a decent, honest woman for a LTR? All those postings on the m4w page all asking to meet nice, normal, honest women and yet here I am. (more…)

What conclusions should be drawn when a wealthy man announces that he is looking for a girl who either has or wants big boobs?

Rugged, Handsome and looking for my equal

Single, 40s, 5′11″, 190lbs. Very comfortable lifestyle. Upbeat and fun loving. I have many hobbies and interests like racing, corvettes, harleys, music, outdoors, and much more. I’m very upbeat, work hard, in good shape, make a good living, own a beautiful home, have all the toys, etc. I’m looking for someone who wants to be MY GIRL. I’m looking for a woman with a hot little figure. I like a small waist, tight round ass and big boobs. Don’t worry if you don’t have the big boobs, you get extra points if you WANT them. Yes, the stripper or porn star type body is MY Flavor. I like much younger 21yo to 35yo with a SEXY LOOK and ATTITUDE. Preferably no kids. I like a girly girl. That is a woman who likes to keep her hair done, nails done, make-up, heels, skirts, jewelry etc. In other words , knows how to look HOT. More importantly, ENJOYS looking HOT. Write if you want more details… and please reply with a photo.